Seize the moment to make a difference
7 January, 2018, 12:00 am
We all have a craving for freedom but no one knows how to obtain it. Our spirit seems free until we face some issues or obstacles. But actually, true freedom lies in the process of having our problems solved.
Let’s consider the four stages that constitute any event: the situation, the mind, the action or behaviour and the result. For instance, nowadays in Europe, Asia and America, technologies develop so fast that parents do not have the time to adjust to their children’s behaviour. Many children in those countries are often addicted to iPads and video games, this can be regarded as the present situation.
Meanwhile, the parents feel worried and anxious because they are unable to solve this problem, that is the result.
Constrained by their children’s habits, parents act out of conditioned reflex to impose their own negative response. The child feels hurt and cursed and so do the parents.
In the end, the child strengthens his bad habit and the parents get a headache! In other words, the phenomenon has obscured the parents’ view and their negative mind has encouraged a bad behaviour, the issue not only cannot be solved and rather makes the situation worse.
The outcome turns out to be the total opposite of the original intention. But there is place for flexibility to adjust the situation. And the core part is the way you set and adjust your mind. The parents could shift from worries and anxiety to care and good wishes.
This attitude would create a more positive way and more space to guide their children. The aim is to avoid strengthening the addictive way of iPad use, and to do so, one should observe it peacefully and patiently from a different perspective.
Doing so, we will understand that it is merely a temporary need of the children as they grow up.
In the meantime, parents should pay attention to any potential harm that will occur if the children are too much addicted, for example if their health is affected or whether they become bad at managing their moods or feel distant and disrespectful to parents or have a weak sense of responsibility or do not know when enough is enough, or feel isolated and lonely etcâ€¦
On the other hand, parents need to find out why their kids sink into such an addiction and what are the psychological and factual needs that have been neglected to a point that their children use iPad as a surrogate of the missing part of their life.
Only when parents have a thorough observation and understanding of the situation, will they have a chance to apply some skilful means to guide their children, to encourage them to make the right choice and to adjust their habit. Because most of the times when we find it hard to change a bad habit, the background reason is that we find the situation unclear and we are not fully aware of it so the inner desire for a change or the courage to make right decisions cannot arise.
Once we know about these four steps: the phenomenon, the mind, the behaviour and the outcome, there will be more flexibility to handle the matter. In case we are trapped in a problem or by an obstacle we could apply our mind freely, obtain the power to choose and find a solution with ease instead of running after the phenomenon, being blinded by it and losing our free will.