25 September, 2014, 12:00 am
TODAY’S BIRTHDAY (Sept. 25). You’ll have a partner for your adventuring over the next six weeks, but when the new year begins, there’s something you must do alone — and you’ll rock it! October shows you applying recently acquired skills and making good money. December brings a new agreement. February ends a competition. Leo and Gemini people adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 29, 1, 44, 38 and 50.
Jupiter and Uranus Do Standup. Jupiter and Uranus form a lucky alignment for humor lovers everywhere. It’s like a cosmic standup comedy show, and we can all benefit from visiting the lighter side of life. It will be easier to see how most of our problems are not unique to us. In fact, so much of what ails us is universal, and so we may as well find a way to laugh together about it.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). While it’s entirely possible to say something different from what you are thinking, your communication will probably turn out better if you think something different first and then think that through before you speak again.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). There are several good ways to let off emotional tension. Telling a friend is one way, but that could backfire. Writing in a diary is a good way, although maybe you should write it in code.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Doing unto others as you would have them do to you only works when you both have the same preferences. The golden rule is good, but the platinum rule is better. Find out how they prefer to be treated.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). You will be trusted with a seemingly small task — this is a test. In truth, there are no small tasks. Do your very best at this critical juncture, and you’ll be richly rewarded.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). If you slip up once or twice, don’t let that stop you from following the original plan. If you slip up constantly, however, it might not be the right plan for you.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You’ll say goodbye to a fantasy and come to accept that there really is no happily ever after — only a happy today over and over for as long as you decide to be happy.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Your purse strings are too loose, and money is in danger of falling out wherever you trod. Finances are improving, but it’s still better to act conservatively. Pull those strings tight now, and next month will be better.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Whether you are heard or not will depend very much on your tone of voice. People crave your attention and tenderness. The world will respond best to your considerate, pleasant approach.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Unexpected happenings this morning may cause you to fall behind, but don’t let that worry you. Tend to what’s really important: the people you love. You’ll make up for lost time later in the afternoon.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Life will contradict itself to such a degree that you’ll wonder what you really know about it. That’s the exciting starting place for a whole new worldview, one that helps you effectively address the present.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You need your travels to take you new places, or you’ll quickly get bored. What if you let your curiosity (instead of your sense of duty) dictate the next leg of your journey?
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). No pining for the past allowed today. Honestly, you’re better off for the way it all turned out. Anyway, you don’t need to turn back the clock; you just need to change its battery.