Black Ferns halfback Kendra Cocksedge admits she’s among the high profile athletes battling “mental fatigue” ahead of next year’s Rugby World Cup.
The rescheduled event in New Zealand will likely be Cocksedge’s international swansong.
The former World Rugby women’s player of the year believed lifting the world cup trophy at Eden Park in November next year would be the perfect sign-off to her 15-year career in the black jersey.
Although she regularly joked with her team mates about when she would hang up her boots – she has made no concrete decisions – however she said the past year had brought her future in the game into focus.
The 32-year-old said she was “gutted” when the world cup was delayed but it had given her plenty of time to contemplate what it would take, mentally and physically, to make it to the showpiece event and that included some tough decisions.
“I think in hindsight now, after a couple of months of the announcement of it being postponed, it has made me sit back and realise that I probably had a bit of mental fatigue hanging around that I wasn’t fully aware of,” Cocksedge said.
Cocksedge has played rugby for 29 years including years of back-to-back club, provincial and international fixtures.
“I was just going to dig through for the next nine months till the end of world cup, now with the postponement it’s given me an opportunity to take a break away from club footy, and it was a hard decision to do that,” she said.
“I still need to think about how the next six months look for me individually in terms of making myself fresh coming into a world cup year and unfortunately club rugby had to be the first to go.”
Cocksedge had the support of the Black Ferns coaching staff to step away from the grassroots game and take a break but she would be back for Canterbury in the Farah Palmer Cup.
“All athletes go through this and I know some are. [White Ferns captain] Sophie Devine as well as the Silver Ferns captain have been the same so I know they’ve gone through a bit of that and it’s just making those decisions to put yourself first and with how important wellbeing is, you could be the best player in the world but if you’re mentally not there then you’re not going to be the full package.”