Can a human being do five to 10 things at once?
Apparently a certain species of the human race can. Just ask any woman and she'll tell you it's no secret. They do it every day - listen to two conversations, engage in two while watching the stove, painting her nails, letting the kids know that they're being 'watched', in-between texting a friend on the other side of the world, typing an e-mail, just to name a few. Phew!
For most guys this phenomenon is something we cannot quite seem to grasp simply because we're one-track minded, having to focus on the one thing at the one time.
This unfortunately, at times, brings conflict into a relationship.
How? Well when a guy is asked to do something and expected to do it while we're supposed to be doing something else, it tends to throw us into confusion and brings about a certain amount of stress and angst, simply because most of us men are not hard-wired to do more than one thing at a time.
Well at least this is true for many men and you might be the exception to the rule so good luck to you.
However, because most girls can easily multi-task, they have an expectation that we can too. Which is where the trouble begins and continues to brew until there's a 'blowout' or alternatively, the 'silent' treatment is given to communicate the curt displeasure.
Did I hear the men just say amen to that brother!
However, before we go waving the victory flag and giving ourselves high fives, let's just stop a minute and think about this.
If we know this happens, and happens constantly and consistently, how come we haven't sat down and spoken about it? "Duh"!
And that's a "Double Duh" for both sides by the way!
The problem is, most of us have an expectation of how things need to be done. But most of us never sit down and set aside the time to actually communicate how to get the best out of each other, and to understand how each of us works. Simply because we think that the other side of the relationship should just know these things about us.
Well, duh, we don't! Because we haven't bothered to discuss it, have we?
It's almost like we have this, "You should know this about me" attitude. "We've been together long enough, so how come you don't know and appreciate this about me?"
It's this attitude which gets us into hot water. How do we change this attitude so that there's peace, harmony and understanding in the relationship?
By opening the communication lines.
I think the 'sales' approach of finding out each other's needs is the best way - by asking the appropriate questions to elicit the right response.
"Sales" you say?
Yes, "Sales"! Because in selling anything, whether we're in retail, service, medicine or going for a job, we have to ask a whole heap of good questions to identify the best solution to the problem or the best candidate for the position. Is this not true?
Well how come we don't use this simple approach at home?
Because, as in most things in life, we take things and people for granted!
I'm not in "sales" you say or "I don't really know how!"
Admission is a good first step.
The next step is getting a book called, "The Five Love Languages" by Dr Gary Chapman.
It's the simplest and easiest book you'll ever read and it'll 'arm' you both with skills that'll remove the obstacles and clear the way to, re-igniting your romance and, helping you understand each other better.
And if you're a guy like me that couldn't quite figure out what the fuss was about the "Proverbs 31 woman", you'll have a better appreciation about the multi-tasking maidens when you read about them from Proverbs Chapter 31:10 in the Bible.
The ultimate "Designer" knew what He was doing.
Happy reading and romancing!